God Made Them Male and Female: When to Teach Your Kids About Gender, Roles, and LGBTQ Influences

There are a lot of young Christian parents out there, and one of the most pressing questions they face is: When do we begin teaching our children about relationships, gender, and things in the world that don't align with the Bible? More specifically, how and when do we explain the existence of homosexuality and the Christian view of it?

Without a doubt, gender should be taught as early as possible to prevent confusion. However, it isn't until around the age of three or four, children naturally begin asking questions. They start noticing differences in appearance and behavior—like why girls wear dresses or why boys don’t. A child might ask or say, “Only girls are princesses?” or “Only boys are kings?” These innocent observations are the starting points for teaching, and if you're a parent who's blessed to be home during those years, it's the ideal time to start planting the seeds of biblical truth.

That said, many parents today both work full-time and rely on daycare. For those families, intentionality is key. No matter your schedule, when your child’s curiosity sparks, that's your moment. Use everyday situations—playtime, getting dressed, helping with chores—to reinforce what the Bible says about being male and female.

It’s important not to rush your child into growing up, but it’s equally critical to prepare them for a world that won’t wait to introduce its own values. Many of today’s cultural teachings—especially on gender and sexuality—don’t reflect the truth of Scripture. In fact, much of it aligns more closely with spiritual rebellion than godly wisdom (see Isaiah 5:20).

Reinforcing Identity and Roles Early

When they’re young, children need simple and affirming reinforcement of their God-given identity. If your daughter dresses up like a princess, tell her she looks lovely—just don’t overemphasize appearance. Constantly praising beauty can lead to vanity as they grow older, especially when fathers and other family members make it the focus. Remember, you are not trying to raise an OnlyFans girl here. Or a woman who tries to skate through life on her looks and no brains. Instead, celebrate godly femininity: gentleness, cleanliness, nurturing behavior, and compassion. Let her know that these are strengths. Being smart and wise is a strength.

Similarly, when your son displays toughness, bravery, or a desire to protect, praise those traits. Tell him, “That’s what boys do. That’s what men of God do.” If they haven't shown these traits, introduce them. Buy your son action figures and play with him. Play out scenes of heroism and good intentions during conflict. Conflict is key in these scenarios, so your son can see how to use his newly taught virtue. Inspire bravery and toughness for good. Make sure they understand those traits are Godly and meant for good and to not be a bully or use their strength for evil or bad.

These affirmations reinforce healthy masculine identity. According to Genesis 3:16–19, God assigned different roles to men and women: the woman would bear children and manage the home, and the man would labor and provide. These roles, while adaptable in modern society, are still divinely inspired.

“To the woman He said: ‘I will greatly multiply your sorrow and your conception; in pain you shall bring forth children; your desire shall be for your husband, and he shall rule over you.’”—Genesis 3:16 (NKJV)

This does not mean women cannot work outside the home. Proverbs 31 describes a virtuous woman who engages in business and trade. However, Titus 2:4–5 reminds us that a woman’s first priority is her home and children:

“...to love their husbands, to love their children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.”—Titus 2:4–5 (ESV)

Mothers who stay home should never feel ashamed, no matter what modern feminism says. You are doing one of the most important jobs in the world—raising the next generation.

Teaching About Homosexuality

Eventually, your child will see things that go against Christian teaching—whether it's in a cartoon, a movie (A simple Google search can quickly identify children's movies that include LGBTQ characters or scenes), or just out in public. Maybe you’ll be walking through a park and see two men holding hands, or a commercial will include a same-sex couple. If you wait too long to explain these things, the world will do it first—and not from a biblical perspective.

Your approach should be clear yet compassionate, so as not to sow hate. You can say something like:

“Some people choose not to follow God’s Word. They choose to live differently, and while we still treat them kindly, we don’t accept that as normal or right. God created marriage to be between a man and a woman.”

This is backed by Scripture. In Mark 10:6–9, Jesus Himself defines marriage:

“But from the beginning of creation, God made them male and female. ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.’”

The destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah, described in Genesis 19, is a warning against the sins of that city—one of which was rampant sexual immorality. The word 'sodomize' itself stems from that story, which is not just a tale, but a serious reminder of God’s judgment.

And yet, we must never teach hatred. Jesus said:

“Let the little children come to me and do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of heaven.”—Matthew 19:14

This reminds us that Jesus wants us to raise children in truth, not leave them to the confusion of the world.

Modeling Godly Love and Family Structure

Children learn most from what they see. Let them see a loving relationship between mom and dad. Don’t be overly physical, but gestures like hand-holding, quick pecks or forehead kisses, loving hugs, and kind words go a long way. This helps children understand what a relationship should look like—a man and a woman, in love and united before God.

Talk about your love openly around them. Say things like, “Daddy loves Mommy,” and “Mommy is thankful for Daddy.” It shows your children that Christian love is real and fulfilling. Teach your sons and daughters what it means to be a godly man or woman and reinforce those lessons consistently.

You should raise them early with a children’s Bible, faith-based stories, and Christian cartoons to build a strong foundation. As they grow—typically between ages 5 and 7—they’ll begin asking deeper questions and may encounter media that challenges biblical values. But when they know Jesus, they’ll be better equipped to hear about sin without being shaken by it.

Final Words to Young Christian Parents

The world is not neutral—it is competing for your child's heart. The culture doesn’t care how young your child is. If you don’t act early, the world will get a leg up and plant seeds of confusion, rebellion, and false identity. If that happens, and your child goes astray, you as a parent may bear some accountability before God.

But if you act early—if you reinforce biblical gender identity, teach love with boundaries, and lead your child to Jesus—then you give them the best shot at a life anchored in truth.

This article is not about hate. It’s about love—love for God, love for truth, and love for children. We don’t mistreat people who live differently. We don’t hate them. But we don’t accept sin as normal either. As the Bible says in Romans 1:26–28, those who reject God’s design often fall into dishonorable passions and a reprobate mind.

We want to guide our children away from that path. So, raise your boys to become men, and your girls to become women. Teach them early to prevent confusion about who to love or uncertainty about their gender identity. Love them deeply. And always lead them back to Jesus.

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